SHAWN

Surgery
Yes its only a minor surgery. But the whole experience of staying in a hospital is taking a whole deal out of me. Its a minor surgery but yet my wound is so fucking deep! I wonder if i can recover on time for genting trip next monday.

Nurses
And i thought those nurses are suppose to be very friendly? Serious shit. At around 2pm today i told the nurse that my blood was overflowing and it had stained my pants. She gave me the reaction like "oh its overflowing?" and walk away together with her pinoy colleague. That nurse got that kind of wicked mother-in-law kind of look you see on tv. Fucking bitch.

I didnt get the whole thing changed until 6pm when i told the overall incharge. She quickly help me change. I told the incharge who apparently is a singaporean what happened. She told me the pinoy nurse thought that ther nurse had change for me. Fuck that stupid reason. Seriously, i got no faith in those foreigners taking care of us.

Home-sick
Im so home sick right now. Im not afraid of alot of stuffs but my tolerance for pain and staying in hospital is very very low. I just home that i can go home tomorrow.

Im fighting back my tears right now. Staying in hospital is really no fun and it is not a very gopd experience at all. Going home tomorrow is what i really wish. I really want. I want to escape from a this inhumane nurses, bitches. And i really hope i recover on time for genting next monday :'(

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Few days back, i had this lump on my upper right thigh. I was scared that it was a tumour or cancer, as such i went to see doctor. Doctor said it was a pimple badly infected, that explain it's swelling and pain.

Today i was told to come back to CGH to have a day surgery. But as time pass by, turn out i was only being refered to a skin specialist. He did a check on me and told me he had no choice but to admit me to hospital; surgery will be tonighy or tomorrow.

So here am i, in the ward lying down. The whole process, i went alone. Nobody was with me. The feeling was unbearable. This is my first time staying in the hospital. Was told that my surgery would be tomorrow.

My feeling now is so much worst than the day i enlisted. I couldnt explain the feeling. How i wish i am with my team patroling now... Its our night shift...

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Been almost three weeks since you have left. But i think deep down in the heart of your friends, you are still alive in them.

Yesterday shift was one hell of a crazy shift, at least for team bravo. Other than Deepavali, New Year when we will be so damn busy, yesterday can be added into one of the busiest night.

But kudos to team bravo, we never say die. Within this one year in Rochor, although the seniors may have left, new birds may have come in, but somehow i can feel that the team work, the great team spirit is still within the team. And i guess this will carry on for many years to come.

Talking about last night. Right from the start of the shift. Everyone was engaged already. Even me who was doing supervisory duty wasn't spare.

You know working in a stressful environment, when fustrations start creeping up to people, everyone will crack and get angry at the slightest thing. Finding fault with each other, hoping that the shift end fast, hoping everything end soon.

However i dont feel that in my team. Everyone work swiftly, professional, great mindset. Not only did we not crack up other the busy night, we manage to do well. Everyone pulled through, no complaints at all.

Nobody get to eat or rest. Thats what we are as a team. End of the day, we end the shift with a smile. Not being afraid of what challenges lie in the next shift. Sleepy and tired, some of us went to eat breakfast happily as well.

Thats the working environment i am working in now, although as an NS. Thats why when i sign on, , i pray so hard that they will put me back to the same division, same team. God bless...

Alright guys, til here :)

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I'm afraid that I am back to the days whereby I lost hope in life.

And so people who chance upon my blog will ask why every single of my post are so emo? In my heart, I also wish that there will be happy ones.

People can only tell me, be strong, face it and move on. People can only tell ah wee's family the same thing. But how many of them can actually feel the way ah wee's family felt? Losing probably the best and filial son one could ever have. How many of them can actually feel how losing your childhood buddy felt?

This past few nights since Saturday, I had been having sleepless nights. I can't sleep. I don't seem to be able to focus properly. I feel so distaughted. Everyday I will be waking up thinking, what am I suppose to do today. I don't seems to be looking forward to anything. My most anticipate bike practical and theory lesson, I seem to have lost interest in it too.

Other than looking forward to meeting Michelle, and other than going into next few weeks hoping that SPF accept me as regular, I literally had almost nothing to look forward to.

But one thing for sure, yesterday I was on leave, but I kind of miss going to work to join my colleagues who were on shift patroling and keeping the neighbourhood safe. Maybe this will be my only motivation.

Right now I only wish to have someone to talk to. Someone who really understands how I feel and stop asking me to accept it or move on. Truth to be told, I can't accept alright. Almost all my friends are in camp which I can't talk to. I can't talk to Michelle because she's having attachment, and to add on she fell sick this few days which I never get to see her yet. Maybe tomorrow I will wait for her after work with some tonics.

To end off this whole stupid post -

Here am i at this unghostly hour facing anther sleepless night ahead...

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Copied from a friend of ah wee and mine:

Bro, this post is for you.

This post may sound a bit gay-ish, but it's not. Its for a friend of mine who had pass away today.

More than a decade ago, together with my family we moved to 497H Tampines Street 45. While I live on the second floor, you live on the fifth floor. I don't know for what reason, my mum get to know your mum. We then went to kindergarden together with Zhi Hao. Everyday after school we will run across the field and see who will reach the other end first. On rainy occasions we will see wild mushrooms and pluck it out.

Then came primary 1, we entered the same school, and even the same class. Till primary 3, we were being group to different classes. But still, we meet up everyday and would hang out at our house area to play. I still remember me calling your house every single afternoon just to ask you what time to meet, where to go today. Together with few other kids, we would roam the area from 5pm-7pm, and then 8pm-11pm with one hour break in between for dinner.



We even join the same CCA together, basketball. Those were the days. Of course there are quarrels but things went back to normal the very next day! Occasionally your mum will bring us for a swim at Tampines Sports Complex. We would play block catching, marbles, basketball, or even finding things to burn. The scar on my finger now was from you bro. We were burning some twisties wrapper. But heck, those days were fun.

All this fun we had ended at secondary 1, when I had no choice but to move to Simei with my family. But occasionally we would meet. Time flies, we all grew up. Your mum would often call my mum up and talk on the phone. Each time I hear updates from you, I'm glad that you are doing well. I even heard from my mum that you were going to sign on with the army. I was thinking, it would be great because in my mind I was thinking, you signing on with the army, me with the police, both protecting the country. And when we meet up one day, we sure have a lot of things to talk about.

The last time I saw you was on MRT few years back. When I was on the way to school. Though we didn't meet for years, we had a lot of topics to talk on. We don't have the stranger feelings. Perhaps it's because of your strong cheerful character.

Till one fine day on the 6 May 2011. I heard a terrible news from my mum. She said that you were in ICU. She didn't tell me much more details. I got in touch with my cousin, she said that you were in coma. For some reason, the virus from your high fever affected your liver, and then your brain. Doctors couldn't verify what virus is that. I went to see you at SGH. The few times that I saw you in SGH, I couldn't pluck out the courage in me to talk to you. I was standing there motionless. Images of us playing when young kept flashing in my mind. My friend, I regretted. On Thursday I was suppose to go and see you but I couldn't make it. I regretted.

That was the last time I could have see you. Today while waiting for the practical lesson to start, I was surfing the facebook and saw updates from your brother that you have gone. I sat there thinking for very long. I couldn't believe what I saw. My friend, I never ever imagine this day would come. Seeing someone close to me gone for no apparent reason.

As I clear my mind I started to think, since young there's a lot of first time I did with you.
- RIding your bicycle and finally get to cycle on 2 wheels
- First few hokkien vulgarities *smile*
- Going to the Muar, Malaysia with your family. Yes my first time overseas.
- Going to swim.
*there were other things but I can't recall now*

My friend, I'm proud to have you as my buddy. We grew up together. We play, sweat and bleed. The wildest days of my childhood life. I bet not many kids nowadays would experience such things. And it's always good that our parents were not so strict then. My friend, thank you for the memorable days as a kid. My friend, I'm proud to have you as my buddy. For all we know, you will always be remembered in our heart, as a strong, cheerful, happy, optimistic young man.


We will meet again, someday, somewhere.

In loving memory, Hoo Shuwee. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=658782712

Yes, i have gotten an iphone 4! I have no regrets buying iphone even though so many people have it. Now the only thing that worries me is the battery.

This post is sweet and short. Just testing out the livejournal app. Till here!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Lying next to you
Wishing I could disappear, yeah
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air, yeah

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads
And we don't believe it

Trying to be perfect
Trying not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here holding up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losing sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads
And we don't believe it

Trying to be perfect
Trying not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here holding up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin

Oh, yeah

Trying to be perfect
Trying not to let you down, yeah
Honesty is honestly
The hardest thing for me right now, yeah

While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumbling
I still stand here holding up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth

It's easier than telling the truth

What a day i had on saturday! I was on night shift and being on a saturday night, its naturally a busy night.

There's lots of interesting things that happen that night. Of cause i can't post about the cases here.

But being in Rochor is really a very good experience for me. Helping old lady to locate her home, fighting crime and getting justice done for victims. And the best thing of all, the morale of the team is high an in team bravo, the team work and team spirit is really there! Kudos to them!

Just watched Singapore vs Haiti. Its been a long time since i supported local football scene, seeing true blood singaporeans playing. But the players of Haiti is really fuck up.

Now ongoing is Man Utd match. Gonna watch it now... :)

Posted via LjBeetle

Its been almost a year since i last blogged. So much things have change.

With michelle for a year already. Although there are quarrels, but there were also times filled with laughter and joy. She waited for me through my bmt camp days, which many girls can't do it. She showered me with alot of love and care.

There was once she brought me to a flyover. Below is CTE expressway. We sat there and chatted for few hours and time flies very fast then. It was one of the special moment, but of cause there were other special moments. I metioned it because it is deeply attached in my heart. This is why she manage to show me how different she is from other girls.

Im now sitting at the playground in between blk 225 and 226. The place that i would slack with my friends after soccer. Those were the days where we need not worry about anything. Maybe the only thing we worry about is money. Things have quieten down alot. Most has enlisted into NS, and its so difficult to get people and slack with me now.

Talking about NS, im still left with 1 year 1 month. Quite fast huh? Hows my NS so far? Its been a blast! Compared with my counterparts, i am very lucky as i got Police for NS.

I got into squad 44 during my camp days. Those wacky and fun dudes. Punishments were comment to our squad, but that is the thing that make my camp days memorable. Not to mention bunk 28. I miss times we gather together and eat biscults after training hours, sit on the floor polish boots, sleep o each other beds.

After POP i got into NPCO. For me thats what we enter Police for. To fight crimes, patrol around like those Police you all see on the streets, and to encounter real life experience. For my vocation NPCO, i got free class 3 license too! I got posted into Rochor team bravo. My colleagues now are fun. They really guide me along, treat me like their own. Without them, i think many things in NPC i have to learn myself.

Thats how things are going for me this past year. To be honest why im blogging now, i quarreled with michelle, im so tired of so many things and im sitting down alone in a corner smoking, and think of many things.

Till my next update...

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